The Second Date

I called the same girl out two days after our first date at around 5:30. It went to her answering machine shortly after ringing so I decided to text her instead thinking she was in class. People say that nobody calls anybody anymore which I don't really have a problem doing but leaving a message is another story.

I texted to her that I enjoyed the first date, which got me thinking about her. I asked her out to some "delicious" Chinese food and some walking around the harbor. Yes, delicious was the only word I used to spice up my expression other than multiple smiley faces. I will start my candid expression entries tomorrow to work on that. When I got a positive response back I set a goal. I wanted to tell her that I liked her and at least get a kiss.

On the first date she told me about how she used to be tomboyish in the past so I was happy to see she was more dressed up than the first time we met. I said I liked her dress but didn't give any specific reason why out of nervousness.

From listening to the recent podcasts on this site I felt I was able to convey my personal experiences relating to whatever we were talking about better than our first date. I talked about the differences in the Chinatown here and the Chinatown back home in New York. When talking about the world cup I related her to my experiences playing soccer during my middle school years, etc.

What was missing from me, however, was the proper tone and inflection in the telling of these stories. My voice was completely monotone. I barely showed ANY excitement telling her about my experiences and I needed to talk louder. Throughout my ENTIRE life I always thought that expressing excitement was an uncool thing to do. I thought acting like Vegeta and showing indifference was going to make me seem hip and awesome but now I just realized that it's plain emo.

Towards the end of the date we were both sitting on a bench at night at the park near the harbor. After a little conversation there was an awkward silence between us and I think we both knew what I wanted to do.

"So... I would like to say... that I like you."

It was the first time I had expressed my interest in words to a women directly like that and it showed. I wrapped my hand around her shoulder and held her hand.

"It's ok if I do this right?"

"Yeah... I... I don't know what to say"

I held her close for a minute or two in silence, not getting the response I wanted. She was looking away avoiding eye contact. I knew I made a mistake in my expression but was wondering if I had failed to be causing attraction all night as well. I raced through my head thinking of something to say. After making some observations about the surrounding area I told her.

"I like you but what do you like about me"

"well, you are nice. you are a calm person"

FUCK. Nice wasn't what I wanted to here. More silence.

"Ok ok, let's start this over. Jenni, I like you."

"Well I like you too but I don't think I can like you in that way yet. More as a friend, someone i can be friends with forever."

I sighed out loud and looked away, but I still had my hand around her shoulder. My mind was still looking for a way to salvage the situation, looking for any last ditch PUA-type move that would instantly create that attraction I needed.

A minute or two passed with nothing happening. She looked at her watch to signal that she wanted to start heading back and get away from this awkward position.

Walking back she apologized to me but I knew she had nothing to apologize for. It was my responsibility as a man to create that attraction and I had failed. I wasn't mad. I knew it wasn't going to be easy for someone like me who is completely devoid of social experience. I was more disappointed that I missed my jiu-jitsu class more than anything else but it was worth it to accumulate the experience needed to improve and learn from my mistakes.

The major thing I realized I needed to work on was my tone of voice when conveying my experiences. Walking back home I wanted to get on skype and just talk to random people through some social site just to practice this social expression.

As for the girl I am going to text her and ask her to bring me out with her friends she had been telling me about throughout the two dates. I simply need to accumulate more social experiences.