A First Date

I just came back today from a first date which lasted around four hours. It was with a girl I met online through one of those online dating sites. She's a slightly nerdy girl but still cute at the same time. She's moving back out in 2.5 weeks to finish her undergraduate degree, but I thought it would be a good opportunity to work on my social interaction with women.

I tried to re-read as much of the manhood book as possible (first 80 pages) to make the experience go smoother and so I could create some attraction between us: Apply pain, ignore passive-aggressive comments, cause conversation that shows interest, express interest. However, acting on what I learned without any having the necessary experience was a hard thing to do. I made many mistakes.

When she was late, I addressed it by asking "so... why are you late?" which was my socially incompetent way of causing pain. When she immediately started to worry and turn red I instinctively took it back with a "just kidding". FUCK. Instead I think I should have just stated "I don't like when a girl is late to a first date" and then compliment her on something random if she gave a desired response.

At dinner I made the biggest mistake of the night which was paying for the meal, giving myself the excuse that I'm not socially experienced/manly enough to make her pay for her part. My posture/expression was decent; I looked her in the eye, stood up straight, some hand movement, however I sometimes looked for something to grab onto or looked away during the few pauses in conversation. One thing I've always needed to work on was talking louder but there was never really anytime where she couldn't hear me.

After that we took a walk around talking and ended up drinking a can of alcohol each and snacking in the park with some more conversation. Throughout the date there was very little that she said that warranted the application of pain. At some point I think she tried to express interest by holding up this straw-like snack in the air like she was trying to feed me (it was dark and the distance seemed a little too far) but I fucked up and instinctively just took it from her hand and ate it as if I didn't want her affection. The conversation at the park got better and we got a few laughs. I was a bit perplexed on how to cause dialogue that moved us toward a relationship and express more interest. She briefly mentioned a past crush and ex-boyfriend. I didn't know how to counter such talk or if there should be an application of a manhood101 principle here but it didn't really affect me in terms of expression.

During our date there were moments where I wanted to make a traditional move like a holding of hands, putting my hand over shoulder on the bench, but just couldn't summon the courage. Also all of my suggestions on the date (going to x restaurant/taking a walk/going to the park) were all in question form instead of direct statements...

We said our goodbyes while on a crowded train where she got off first. She said she had a good time, I responded the same way and told her we should meet up again. She expressed interest and asked "you have my cellphone number right?" which I don't know if it was out of nervousness or not. Probably over-thinking that statement. Due to it being on a crowded train I didn't make any final moves like a kiss.

Although I felt we both had a good time, this date was a disaster in terms of exercising my authority and applying the principles. Considering where I was a few years ago where I couldn't even talk to a girl without studdering it was an improvement but I still felt pathetic now looking back on the date. There is just so much I have to work on.

My plan right now is to read the manhood book again and work on all the assignments listed here as well. I'll be calling the girl back for another date and try to improve upon the mistakes I made today.